stephen hawking walks into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A paraplegic women falls off a boat. Regardless of the fact that she was wearing a properly inflated flotation device, she still managed to drown. She died instantly, the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

WHO THE FUCK IS NERO AND THAT BITCH THAT CLAIMS TO BE NOT NERO BUT NOT NEROMETAL OR WHATEVER? THEY BOTH CLAIM TO BE THE FUCKING MORAL MAN? I STARTED MY RISE TO INFAMY FOR LIKE... Fuck, when I was still studying, it was a fucking social project to prove that others opinions DO NOT MATTER SHIT IN THE END! And now these bastards (some cult faggot and Some "Nerometal" which are probably the same queer) CLAIM TO BE THE MORALMAN? I AM THE MORAL MAN! I AM YOUR FRIENDLY RAPIST/SOCIOPATH! YOU FAKE QUEERMASTERS! I CHALLENGE YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is Andrew sleeping? Because he took and overdose on sleeping pills, he probably died in his sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does the lifeguard do on his free time? Ejaculate.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

thumb_up thumb_down +5

420

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats worse than cold feet? getting your feet chopped off.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into another apple and finding the other half

thumb_up thumb_down +5

little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs at noon, and 3 legs in the afternoon? A dog that got its hind legs chopped off, and then only got 1 prosthetic one.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops