what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A neutron walked into a bar and asked "how much for a drink?" The bartender did not reply because a neutron is so small he didn't notice that it even entered.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia So do I

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A black man is setting up contingency measures of protection in his personal place of residence when all of a sudden, several warning alarms sound and a few specialized people with red "combating" devices who were alerted by the blatant scenerio unfolding before them were moving quickly in order to match previously stipulated criteria of value. The black man and his family were partaking in a monthly fire drill unfolding in their own house since they were extremely responsible, law-abiding citizens of the city they were located in that required various kinds ofl saftey precautions to be taken so to mitigate the serious chance that people might be hurt by preventable, residential distasters.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man was walking down the street in the pitch black dark and he looked into a pitch black dark window. What did he see? Pitch black dark people.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock Who's there? Rapist :(

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops