why was the kid crying? because he had to go to school GDS*

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Women's Professional _________

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Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

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if there is a circle of fat people and you throw a cookie in the middle of the circle. It will be the best game of hungry hungry hippos you will ever see.

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A: What are the nine most terrifying words in the English dictionary? B: What are they? A: I'm from the government and i'm here to help

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A guy watches a porno. When it is over, he said; "Wow, that was deep"

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a gunman on the same side of the path and it would most likely be safer to avoid making eye contact

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Why don't you throw rocks at a black person riding a bike..... It could be yours

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? cancer

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Q: Why was the mexican mowing the lawn? A: Because the grass was too tall

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knock knock who's there? I'm here.

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day Your body rejected it and you went into cardiac arrest, we both died

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A cat walks into a bar, the bartender says "pussy?"

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit!!

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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A 14 year old boy's mother walks into his room whilst he is naked. The boy requests for his mother to leave; so she apologizes and leaves as the whole incident was rather embarrasing.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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What did the big traffic light say to the little traffic light? It didnt it's a traffic light.

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What did one teacher say to the other teacher? We're both under-payed.

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How do you survive the end of the world? You can't- everyone will die!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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