So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

What was the babies first word? Nothing: It was a still-born.

Roses are red Grass is greener I think of you when I play with my weiner

What's in a glass and drinky? A drink

Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

How is a woman like a condom? They are not. A woman is a human being and a condom is a man-made rubber object used as contraception in sexual intercourse

Why was little Timmy so fast? Because he's tied up in the trunk of a speeding car.

A kid walks into a bar He gets kicked out

So a Buddhist said, "YOLO." ._.

You were born.

The joke below me was written by someone who was mauled by a panther and raped by a tribe.

Why was the black man running? He has to stay fit for the army.

Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

Why are Asians so good at math? because of their work ethic and determination to become the best at everything.rice.

Why is minecraft so awesome? Because real life is boring as crap.

Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

ert

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

Why does everyone love Randy Jackson? Well it's sure not because he's black.

What did the man say after being hit by a bus? Nothing he is now dead.

what did the black guy say to the white guy? black guy: hello how are you doing white guy: good i guess.... just heard they shut down KFC black guy: that sucks

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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