roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You say tomayto, I say ecstasy.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the Mexican fall and not the black man. i don't know, go ask the Asian.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Duh!!!."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. whats worse then eating a slice of cheese? A. Finding out your mom has a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Hey are you sleepy? Good, cause I just saw Jeff The Killer and Slenderman outside your window. Good night!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

thumb_up thumb_down -13

y does byonce sing to the left? because black people have no rights

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't, he died in the middle of this task.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the song that goes like, duh duh da duh duh duh da da do?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did Charlie do when he lost his golden ticket? He killed his grandpa to get it back.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops