A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? rape

How do you get a single-armed monkey down from a tree? Wave.

Cheese

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

id give my right arm to be ambidextrous

Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

A Japanese man, a Canadian man and a French woman walk into a bar. They do not converse because they don't speak the same language.

What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench Men enjoying a day in the park

Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

Why was 13 afraid of 27 Because 51 had an extra penis

what did the murderer say when he lost his gun? dangit. now i cant kill anyone

What did Susie do when the music was too loud Nothing

Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

Why do women like NASCAR? They don't.

Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a drink. The man walks out of the bar. He drives home and slaps his wife. Alcohol is destroying his marriage.

How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

Whats more sad then four black men in a car driving off a cliff? The man they stolen the car from doesn't have car insurance.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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