Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

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What is White on Top and Black on bottom? Micheal Jackson.

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17

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Why did Anti-Joke.com close down? It didn't. If your reading this, the site is fully operational and up to date with your system.

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Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

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Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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What happens when an Asian with a boner walks into a wall? He breaks his nose

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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Q. What do you say when a baby gets hit by a car? A. Lol fail

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What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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Why did the boy fall of his BMX? Because someone threw a dish-washer at him.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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why did jimmy loose the bike race. because he never entered.

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An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

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What do you call a muslim in an airport? A muslim going on vacation you racist bastard.

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what did the bull say when it got shot? nothing... its a bull

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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