whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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what did batman say to robin to tell him to get in the car? get in.

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Why did the gorilla have big nostrils? Because it was a trait passed on to him from his biological father.

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Tic tac toe. I never met my father

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What's worse than finding a Worm in your Apple? being Mauled to death.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

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There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Not enough

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Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

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Why did the boy let go of his red ballon? Because he was hit by a car

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Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

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What's the difference between communism and race mixing? Zey come for our blood, but drown in zeir ovn!!!!!

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Why did the boy fall off the zipline? He had no arms.

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Q: Suzy loves apples she will o anything to get her hands on an apple. A: You guys are so gullible!!! She DID eat Tom's apple. ...... then he killed her.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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A- Why did the chicken cross the road? B- I honestly do not care.

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Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

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why was the black guy that was smoking weed in his car not sent to jail? when the cop pulled him over he thought he was black the way he was dancing but turned out to be white but that just looked black when hes dancing.

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Whats the difference between chris and a party. the locations

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What do you say to a man with no legs at a bus stop.. How you getting on.

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Why did Timmy lose the race? He had no legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops