Why couldn't the boy watch the R-rated movie? Cuz he was blind.

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What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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justin bieber is a good singer april fools haha you thought hell had frozen over

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Why do They call a horse a horse? Because They speak English.

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-I thought the lesson had started? -It has

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had leukemia

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What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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so a blonde walks into a bank, opens her purse, pulls out her check and cashes it. She then returns to her car and proceeds home.

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If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

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What happens when you cross a Labrador and a Poodle. A species of dog that has been cross bred.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Guy 1: Why did Captain Hook die? Guy 2: Because he wiped his anus with a hook? Guy 1: No, because everyone dies.

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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Bariande: I have a belly button Kraken: haha who doesnt? MissAwkward: i dont Barinade: neither do i. haha this happened on tiny chat.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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