An atom walks into a bar. Did it grow legs?

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Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

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What do you get when you cross a sheep with a lion? A dead sheep.

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What did the children say when the magician pulled a rabbit out of his hat? Nothing, but the parents called Animal Control, and the magician was imprisoned after a dog-fighting ring was discovered in Michael Vick's estate.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Q: Whats the difference between a table and a Mexican? A: You tell me.

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Yo mama so fat and ugly, I don't want to tell you how fat and ugly she is for fear of vomiting.

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jew and a Boy-scout A: Boy-scouts come back from camp

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Roses are Red Violets are Red Grass is Red Trees are Red My yard is on fire.

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If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

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How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

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What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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A man gets pushed in to a pole...

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he was late for his uncle's funeral, which was taking place in the church across from his apartment.

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Emily Walker.

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Why did Harriet Tubman have to take the underground railroad? Because she was a fugly slut.

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Artists have unique minds and can rotate shapes within their mind. I'm going to masterbate.

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Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint. "Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister. "Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over." The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church. "That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either."

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A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Your momma is soooo poor... I don't know how she is so fat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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