this last joke was a correction to the other one

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What's worse than dying in a car wreck with your family? You being the only one that dies.

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

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Cancer.

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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autsim

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"Where are my shoes?" asked the man. "On your feet," I replied. "You are a paraplegic and have no feeling from the waist down."

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

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My therapist says that I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!

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How did the little boy get out of the forest? -He didnt, he was devoured by a pack of wovles.

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Recycled jokes are about as good as a scalar roundabout... [L]

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

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Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

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why did the girl fall off the swing? her dad threw a refrigerator jlr

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LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

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There is a famous joke, "What's black and white and re(a)d all over? A newspaper!" However, this is not featured on this website. Why? Because this is anti-joke.com, not joke.com - you moron

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So a man walks into a bar... ouch

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What did Cinderella wear at the ball? Clothes

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What did the two prostitute say to each other? I dont know, i wasn't there

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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