What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because I shot him. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because his tail was stapled to the other monkey.

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Why is motorboating so much fun? Because they are unmatched for their speed and agility in the water.

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How do you shock thomas eddison? Attatch his kite to his balls.

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Your adopted

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Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

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Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

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Where do you study to get a good education? A library, at home, or at another quiet location where it is easy to concentrate.

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Penis.

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One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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There once was a man from Kentuckit, who like to dissapear with his dog and clean up the shit using a plastic bag and put it in the allocated public bin.

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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Why does beyonce sing "to the left to the left?" cause women have no rights

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Roses are blue Violets are buckets this poem makes no sense Washing machines

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Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

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Q. want to hear a really funny joke? A. Fred Figglie-horn

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A Jew, A priest and a Muslim go into a pub,put their differences aside and have a good time!

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yo mamma is so fat when people look at her they say "you're fat"

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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