Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

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What drops its lunch every day? Yo mom

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

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Q: Why is it funny to laugh at gay men? A: They like men.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you so much That is a an example of the 2nd person and the identification of plants and their colors

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Why did little Jimmy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus.

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George W. Bush

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him.

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Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

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Boy: Your father must be an alien, because there’s nothing else like you on earth! Girl: *whispering* please don't tell anyone we are trying not to be noticed...

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how do you save a black man ... u don't

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Ily bae

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Why did the idiot take a selfie with his phone underwater? Because he's an idiot

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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Want to burn 3000 calories in under 5 MINUTES? Take a store bought pizza and put it in the over for as long as you want. Just watch the calories burn away in a puff of smoke!

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

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what did the tree say to the person? nothing trees cant talk

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Y' can't spell rape without ape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops