How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

What do you call a man who has lost both his legs, one arm, and half his eye? Larry

When The bus came by Jimmy went bye-bye

Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

I am hot he is not can you beleive it I got shot

What do you call a chicken who crosses a road? Nothing, its still a chicken

3021 North Broadway Avenue

id give my right arm to be ambidextrous

Roses are red.........I slept with someone else

Knock Knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? You are you.

A man is a joke for making a joke on antijoke

Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

you that read wrong no you typed it wring my mind just rearranged the words to make grammatical sense

whats worse that being raped by a giant squirrel? being raped by two giant squirrels.

Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Obamacare

Q: There was a train wreck in the middle of nowhere, every one died, no one saw the train wreck, so how did the story about the wreck get out? A:Many philosophers believe that the universe is a figment of its own imagination. Therefore, if "the universe" decided that it wanted the story to get out, it could have just made it so since it is its own imagination.

Why did the 16 year old black kid drop out of high school? He started a successful small business selling mixtapes.

What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

Why didnt jimmy go to school? He had a hangover

Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other: "Hey are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease?? the other cow says "Nah, not at all mate...!" "Why Not?" says the cow "Because I'm a CHICKEN!"

So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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