What is black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

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I don't always browse the internet. But when i do i prefer Anti Joke.con

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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Women are like fish. It's hard to tell when they are crying underwater.

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Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

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CAOIMHIN. IVE BEEN DOING MY WORK SINCE IVE STARTED THIS CLASS. YOU'VE STARTED THIS WHOLE THING. I WROTE BIG MAC'S AND THATS IT. SO STFU

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This couple is having the most passionate sex ever one night, and the guy cums before he gets a chance to pull out. He gets the woman pregnant. Now they are married.

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What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

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Q: What happened when the rich man got married? A:His wife stole everything he had and left him a cold and broken man.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red paint is spilled on it.

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What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a dead baby? One is a popular singer and the other is a dead baby.

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Why did William commit suicide? Because his grandmother had recently died of terminal cancer. His mother left him on the front step when he was two, and moved to Tennessee with her baby daddy.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Wait what was I saying

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A black man goes to his dentist appointment and the doctor asks, have you brushed your teeth today laderius? the black man replies: Yes, but my name is not laderius

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b

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Q. How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A. That obviously depends on the size of the bathtub and each individual infant.

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10 years later...... a baby is born in Japan and has 26 toes due to radiation

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What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

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call me maybe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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