You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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Q: What happened to the man who died? A: Nothing, there is no afterlife.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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Why is it bad to smoke in a public place? Because secondhand smoke may cause lung cancer.

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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Q: How do you break into your own house? A:You don't....thats ridiculous(:

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Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

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If a chicken and a half layed an egg and a half in a day and a half how many pancakes does it take to shingle a roof? -A banana has no bones

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What happened to the man who lost his job? He couldn't support his family so they all became homeless and eventually died of starvation.

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knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Just about everything seeing how the holocaust is not a funny event, but rather enormous tragedy.... Assholes.

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Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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Yo momma's so ugly that she could not find another partner after the tragic death of your father

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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Person 1: Hey how's your day? Person 2: Good Person 1: Cool

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops