Q: What's purple and flies? A: Super Grape

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There was once a family of tomatoes. A daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato. they decided one day to take a walk. but the baby was taking forever so the daddy tomato walked back STOMPED on him and yelled "CATCHUP"

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What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your family die in a fire.

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What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

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What's living, purple, yellow, and green? Nothing.

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Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

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Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

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Where's the soap?

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A guy walks into a bar, has a drink then leaves.

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Tic tac toe Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

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Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

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Stephen Hawking

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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Doctor, doctor, I have a cavity! Go to the dentist.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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