How did baby Bobby spend his summer vacation? He didn't, he died from heat exhaustion.

I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

How do you stop a car from hitting a kid? You don't.

What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? One is a type of small aquatic craft, and the other is a human being who practices Judaism.

why did the chicken cross the road i hate it when people ask questions they already know the answer to

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Cheese and toast

What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

you better accept "balls in yo mouf"...

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

Q. why did the boy who just had his first kiss feel no emotion? A. He got hit a Croquet mallet and died

How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

A blonde walks into a bar ouch

Mr. Wonder, optimism is seeing the glass as half full, pessimism as seeing the glass half empty, and realism as not seeing the glass at all.

The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it was tree

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens don't have the cognitive capacity to reason. So you'd never know

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

Dick Cheney That's the joke

How do you make your mom mad? Burn down the house and eat the dog.

What did the black man say when he waked into KFC? Can I use the restroom?

how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

knock knock who's there aids aids who ... dumb ass

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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