Hello, I'm Mark and I have multiple-personality disorder. Don't listen to him, no he doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q: Were did suzy go after the explosion? A: Everywere

thumb_up thumb_down -35

why did the chicken cross the road............ why dont you tell me smartass

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

why did the skeleton drop his juice? Because he has no stomach LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why couldn't the little kid get to sleep? His dog was on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How many cavemen does it take to change a lightbulb? A caveman wouldn't know what to do with a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A black man walks into a bar. "Whoops, that's not the Weed shop!"

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the blonde say when she saw a box of cheerios? "Lovely, I think I'll have some of these for breakfast today. The wholegrain will be good for me."

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

You know what sucks ? A vacuum.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Hi my names Sarah and I love baby's. I don't think I could eat a whole one though

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did Billy say when he met the president? Nice to meat you Mr. President? -Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -37

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Q:When a T- Rex walks into your house what does it mean? A: Your on pot, T-rex's are extinct

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

dylan hodge wishes he could suck his own **** jokes thats what his mothers for

thumb_up thumb_down -39

your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future

thumb_up thumb_down -39

what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Q: What did the monkey say to the parrot? A: I like trains so feed me bananas!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

One day a woman wrote a letter to her husband whom was at war. He received it, read it, and was happy to know she was thinking of him.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops