Where do you find a quadriplegic? Where you left him

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Why did an asian lawyer commit suicide? Because his wife left him and he hated his miserable life.

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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Knock knock Who's there? The events which followed are described by police as the August 4th massacre in which a family of five were brutally murdered by two prison escapees who broke into the house in search of a place to hideout.

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The ability to live the life of a dead person.

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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your mother is a well respected woman in society and makes delicious cookies.

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Japanese study of the stereotypical Italian under scientifical environment: Japanese: Test one: Hello! Italian: AHAHA HOHOO! WHOPPIE! ME IS MARIO MARIO I AM MAGIC MUSHROOM EATING PLUMBER! I AMMA GONNA JUMP ON YOU (AND gRAPE YOU!) Japanese: ACTIVATE FLAMETHROWERS GET! Italian: AHAHAHAHAHOOOOOOOOOOO! Japanese: OMG ITALIAN IS STRONG! ACTIVATE TRAP DOOR! ITALIAN: *falls down door* MAMA MIA! OH NOH! Japanese: Puh! BEWARE OF ITALIAN STEREOTYPE! Experiment two:Japanese experiment with in actual Italia: Japanese: Hello Mr Itali... Italian: Are you looking at me? Japanese: Uh well I... Italian: ARE YOU LOOKING AT MEEE? WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO LOOK ME IN THE EYES EH? Japanese: Balls? Uh my mother when she gave birth to... Italian: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO TALK TO ME! ITALIANS ARE DANGEROUS!

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist bastard..

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a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

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Why didn't the man fall off his bicycle? Because He wasn't riding a bicycle!

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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who sells coke and ruins lives? Vagina Parker

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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What's the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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