Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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What's the difference between you and a sick duck? I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.

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What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

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Whats the same about a jew and firewood? They both burn.

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why couldn't the young african american read? He was born blind

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Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

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COME HERE, POTTER!!!! NOW!!! Instead of agreeing to approach the source of the rather hostile summoning, Potter decided to sit down and eat a healthy vegetarian lunch of sausages and chips.

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Tommy got neutered.

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: my red painted d*ck

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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what do you call a pie in a roll a roll and pie

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What is the difference between a white gut and a black guy? The level of melanin in their skin.

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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the wild black man is searching for food. He spots a KFC, and goes wild. He then proceeds to get in line.

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What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

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How do you confuse a Muslim? - Rub his belly.

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise pop? No, seriously, does anyone know?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops