Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

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twenty three roaches walk into a bar. the bar is evacuated due to insects.

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Why cant a black person read? Because there is nothing to read...

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Q How do you know when a gay walks into a bar A Albert rushes over and starts feeling him up

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A man walked into a bar. It was closed, so I don't see how this was possible.

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

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But I like being mean and angry! Nevermind, 158 according to Mensa`s standard bullshit test (my wife got 160, I remember we argued a lot over it because I kept insisting they would not use the same predictable pattern again... I overestimated them wildly I can make more advanced stuff than they can, and in no way do I consider myself "The worlds elite required to ensue the future survival and salvation of mankind`s finest and fittest" those fucking arrogant suckers,,,) Below average in any test including American presidents and historical events. Aaand about 450 in any bullshit online test which then offers you "more accurate tests" which cost money and probably destroys the fake confidence any idiot buying such a test in the first place might have built up,

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A man walks into a bar and pulls out a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist, which is really just his member with a smiley face drawn on it. Somebody calls the police muttering, "What is this world coming to?"

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Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

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What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

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roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

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What did Steven Hawkings say as he fell down the stairs? .................

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ash Oh hey Ash, I was expecting you, come on in!!

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What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

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A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

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why was the clown sad? because his wife left him

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Why did Justin Bieber bieber his bieber? Because Bieber biebers his bieber when his bieber need a bieber bieber. BIEBER

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A woman says Renae has a butt... Two men say we don't care we have her hammer. True story.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

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What did the boy with no parents get for Christmas from his Grampa? Nothing because his Grampa had alzheimer's disease -Flap

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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