A guy walks into a bar and says, "I'm Japanese". The guy at the counter says "What a coincidence! I am Japanese too." He gets seated and the guy next to him says, "I'm Japanese too." The bar is in Japan.

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Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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why did the man have an axe in his car he kills children with it

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(PC) Why aren't regular jokes as good as anti-jokes? Because they are worse than anti-jokes.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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A three-legged prostitute, a coal miner, and R. Kelly walk into an all-midget rendition of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. The miner has a heart attack and dies. The concubine and the vocalist do nothing to help.

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

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What do vampires cross the sea in?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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Why do gingers have red hair? Its genetically encoded in their DNA

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What's black and can't swim? A black shirt.

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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why did the chicken cross the road who's there and the man died of cancer congradulations! your preganant

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocaust Whats worse that two Holocaust? Dane Cooks Comedian act

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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