Q: What's Funnier than a baby spinning around a pole at 300 MPH? A: Stopping it with a shovel.

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What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

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What did Goldilocks say to the Three Bears? No one knows. Her remains were discovered three weeks later.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding the holocaust? A worm

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

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i know the best knock knock joke! you start! other person: knock knock me: whos there ........

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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what do you call one black man surrounded by ten white men.... A story teller

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse, confused, looks at the bartender with a bewildered look, neighs loudly, and runs out of the bar knocking over a few tables and chares.

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a man walks off of a damn. a damn is not a noun, thus nobody can walk off it

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Cannot tell, national security. As far as I care we are friends, therefore I cannot continue chatting with you for a while, its gonna seem pretty damn suspicious, I wont be repeating myself. Except again, do not worry, we will take care of this, and if not, I will contact you, you are not in any danger for the mean being, whoever are against us are looking for "Nero", not you, and I am pretty damn safe. By the way, I never lost an eye, but your "wiz" revealed himself by sharing that information, that part was the only ploy as far as I care, and it was necessary for everybody`s survival. Do not worry friend, I will call you sometime, but I recommend we stay off touch for at least 3 months, and that you stop using this site.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Person: kk Person1: did you just kk me? Person: no

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Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

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News:Little boy found dead in old man's white van. Turns out the old man goes to the store and when he comes back the little boy chokes on an apple.

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

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I had a lemon. hi.

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What did the asian do with his homework? finish it. as is expected from children his age.

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Knock Knock! Who's there?! Michelle Bachman.

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A man is at the dentists. The dentists says, "Oh my, your teeth are terrible!" The man says, "Yes I know. I am addicted to Meth".

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Why do you want to know? And what did the censor get? Okay okay you are not boring nor stale nor anything, please increase the effect of this thing, its not working very well when I try to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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