What did the man say to the woman before he had sex with her? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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An anti joke a day... really doesn't actually do that much

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What do you do when you're given a phonebook? You ask for their name.

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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Why Do Black People Love Watermelon? Because Its A Delicious Fruit.

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What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

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sadf

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Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

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why did 9/11 poop on a condominium? fuk

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What did the two best friends do before the asteroid hit the Earth? They hugged each other goodbye.

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Girlfriend has 10 letters, but then again, so does freeeeedom

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Yo momma so fat, when she runs she makes the cd played skip, at the radio station!!!

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what did the boy with cancer want for christmas? a gun

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Why was the boy sick? Because he accidently ate his own feces.

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A man walks into a bar, I forget the rest of this joke and your mother's a whore.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only anal because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: He had no arms Q: Why did the frog fall out of the tree? A: He was stapled to the monkey's face

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was at a crosswalk and the walk light was on.

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A black man walks into KFC. the whole room..THE GAME.

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N-E Pats never cheated

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What's funnier than diarrhoea? Cancer What's funnier than cancer? The holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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