Q: What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A: A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why are Anti-jokes funny? Coz they are not.

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Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. She didn't. She's still in the kitchen because I beat her if she's not cooking or cleaning.

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What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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I was watching Fox news.

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A baseball, bat, and a glove.

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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Try it Yourself »

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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ur an fagit

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Why did Brooke go to the bathroom? She had to pee

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What did the black man say to his wife on valentines day? - You are fat

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Uh Erron, you know, I do not spend most of the time before this computer or studying because I am popular nor anything, so that`s one thing, and yeah, I never done it with anybody so yeah, uhh lucky me or something.

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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Bob Saget that is all

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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how may horses can you fit in a blender i can't remember what is red and goes 100KPH a horse in a blender

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Why was the black man eating fried chicken and watermelon? He was at home

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if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

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What's worse than a baby in a blender? Two babies in a blender

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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Hey whats sad about 4 black people going over a cliff in a cadillac. Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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