Why did the frog cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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what has two legs and is red all over a fireman doing his job

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

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Why can't you look at the sun? Because it's 2.00 AM

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im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

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Yo momma is so fat when she sat on the i pod she made the i pad!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with his friend that was on the other side.

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I just drank a cola.

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I drive in driveways. I recite in recitals. I play in plays. I park on parkways. My greenhouse is green. And my boxing ring is round. Why does everyone think I'm weird??

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Q: If Elvis was alive today, what would he crave the most? A: Brains. Moral: BRAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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why did matt daly want to go to prison? to be fondled

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how do you make a homosexual man have sex with a woman? shit in her vagina

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Q: The president is driving down the road, when the wheels of his boat fall off. How many ping pong balls does it take to fill the Empire State Building? A: False. Vests don't have sleeves.

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This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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