how do you stop a baby from crying? hit it with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

WE BE-ETH YON KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mum's so fat, she attends regular weight loss facilities to lose weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

All these jokes are so much funnier when I read them during class, laughing my ass off and everybody's looking at me like I'm retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock It's open, come in

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mother is so retarded. How retarded is she? Very retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Sidney drop her ice cream? A refrigerator fell on er

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the black guy cross the road? His car was parked across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

thumb_up thumb_down +2

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? A Holocaust. What's worse than a Holocaust? 3 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the rabbi say to the bartender? Hi, Mark!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

My brother is crazy... crazy like a fox! I caught him eating a Possum on the side of the road yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Helen Keller name her pet dog? dfhiwueghweigw

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Sometimes I wonder; why is that frisbee getting closer? Then it hits me. Someone just threw a frisbee at me.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops