A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says nothing to the man running the stand. Realizing that the duck might potentially keep patrons from approaching the stand, he packs up and moves elsewhere.

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A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi walk into a bar. All three are alcoholics and have done irreparable damage to their livers.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Hey! That's mine! Give it back!

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

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Worms don't like apples.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did i write this joke? Because i'm a try hard.

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Rivals? Someone from the past? Erron, who is "WE"! Tell me now!

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So you have been really stressed lately huh?

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What happened to the man who fell off a cliff? He fell

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What do you get a when you cross a chocolate bar and some haribo? A disease complex characterized by persistent hyperglycemia caused by insufficient insulin production or resistance to the metabolic action of insulin. Diabetes mellitus (DM) is generally classified as insulin-dependent (IDDM, type I), non-insulin-dependent (NIDDM, type II), or secondary diabetes mellitus

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Why was the man sad? His brother died.

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what is the difference between a bucket of shit and a black person? the bucket the bucket

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Whats gayer then dancing with the stars? Justin beiber

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Know what's funny? Not these jokes!

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How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

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What do you call an asian women running for president? A candidate.

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What happens when you yank on someones nuts? They cry

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why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

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What does a cow do at McDonald's? He is eaten by obese people.

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Why was the man crying in prison? He missed his family and wanted to go home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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