What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

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How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

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Roses are red,violets are blue I've got aids & now so do you Merry Christmas

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

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Q. What do you call a Widow's Husband? A. Dead...

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What's worse than getting struck by lightning? Getting struck while your in your house!!

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Yo momma so old some said act ur age and she dies

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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What do you call a Mexican hot dog? Lunch.

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What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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What would the Swatch be called if it was made by a Croatian company? A Crwatch.

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What's up? Not the Twin Towers.

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What's red, white, and blue? light purple

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Just think...there are 7 billion people in the world...so that's 14 billion orgasms!

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What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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Your ancestors called. They want their glasses back!

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What do you call a Mexican who likes to eat burritos? A Mexican

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Yo mama's so fat, I gave her a compliment because we should embrace body acceptance.

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after being hit by a train.

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

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I played the spoon game. In a white neighborhood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops