What did the retarded kid get for chrismas? Nothing the orphanage could not afford to give presents to all of the retarded children

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back. Then look down and realize there's still an active grenade in your hand. You've just become the joke

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the cow cross the road? Because he escaped the farm and didn't know what else to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What does a man want more than sex? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Every week or so Chuck Norris does his laundry.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you stop a bus? You don't, and Regina George didn't either.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your mother is so stupid that she claimed the pole ran into her.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

You know what's natural? Bears.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot you racist BITCH! Its ok a niggah gots altititude.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A little boy who was sleeping in his parent's bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't. He said nothing, and the incident troubled him deeply for many years.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a PS3? Michael was a succesful dancer, singer-songwriter, musician, and philanthropist, whereas a PS3 is a games console.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

arena football

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why is andreas making a pizza? since he dosent get laid he likes the feeling of the sauce stinging on his dick

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Moral: Sure, your number is the one that ends with 853 right? Do not reply if I am right. Moral2: BECAUSE TOP COMMENT... AND SERIOUSLY, THAT NUMBER BETTER END WITH 69 AFTER I CALL YOU! DO NOT REPLY

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Check out our iPhone App!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot... are you racist?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: why are black people good at basketball A: god you racist bastard

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops