What's blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding its breath

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What do you call a horny horse? A unicorn.

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what did the brick say to the other brick? hello. the guy next to the bricks was shocked and went home and killed his wife then later higherd an indian man to give him a lapdance.

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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Two clowns are walking down the street The first says, "Whats better sunshine or rainbows?" The second says nothing, then casually picks up a brick and beats the other clown to death.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave Smith.

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In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

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whats white a smells like paint. whtie paint.

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What word starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? Fuck.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

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A guy walks into a doughnut shop and says "I'll have a small coffee and a doughnut." The shop keeper says, "I'm sorry we ran out of coffee." The guy says, "All right I'll just have coffee than"

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Two birds were sitting on a perch, one turned and said to the other, "Do you smell fish?"

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what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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Your momma's so old she might die soon.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks "what will you have". The man says "Friendship" and bursts out crying. At this point he is making a scene and security will have too be called.

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dont you love porch monkeys? no.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? A fsh

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Why didn't the boy's parents throw him a birthday party? Because his father is in jail for drug possession and his mother is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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