Q:why did i cross the road A: time to get a watch

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Yo mama so ugly she's ridiculed daily and has frequent suicidal thoughts.

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what is Stephen Hawking's condom brand called? Anti-Virus

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What did the def blind mute kid get for christmas? He doesnt know either

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Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy running off the cliff? Watch out! You're running off a cliff!

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When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

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What's harder than breaking up with your girlfriend? A stone.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

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What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

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What do you call a black guy that drives an airplane? A pilot.

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Why did the door close on little Timmy? He was getting gang raped.

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Why are anti-jokes funny? They are not because they have no punchline and if you wern't a complete dumbass you would have the ability to read the description on the right off the page.

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

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An elephant walks in to a dry cleaners and asks the Chinese man behind the counter for the price of cleaning two shirts. The man replies, "$3.00."

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Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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Women's Rights.

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Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house, she feels bad about herself but is too embarrassed to get a gym membership and work-out in public.

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1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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What's worse than Hitler killing six million Jews? All of the Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctior

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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