Why didn't Johnny go to the party? He was aborted as a fetus

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What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

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if you spell clever backwards you get a mixture of letters that don't make sense

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Why didn't the politically-correct lawyer laugh at his black neighbour's jokes? He had an incapacitating malady of oralfacialoaralysis rendering him unable to laugh or smile

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you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

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you just read an anti-joke

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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What is worse than tripping over a stone, and falling face first into a dog shit, Not much..

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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a. why? b. because

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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A man drove up to a drive-thru. He ordered a coke, but the lady at the window spilled it on his lap. He promptly changed his clothes and accepted the lady's apology.

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A man gets a new job working for his boss. The boss gives him more and more work and less pay. The man finely gets fed up, beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later speculated that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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Where do five gay guys walk? Where ever they want to. This is a free country, where people are free to travel as the please, no matter what their sexual orientation may be

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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where does someone with one leg work? -no where this is a recession

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roses are red violets are blue i need a pee and so do u

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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