If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Murder his family

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What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't the farmer shot him before he could have a chance at freedom.

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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Q. What do you say when a baby gets hit by a car? A. Lol fail

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot. WOW your racist!

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I can't see ~ Ray Charles

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Beka has AIDS

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What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

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A man wearing a 'What Would Jesus Do' bracelet and a livestrong bracelet goes up to a blind kid and rubs his eyes and the kid can see. The kid was was not used to the bright lights and wandered into traffic, was hit by a car and killed instantly.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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Why was the potatoe hot Cuz I cooked it

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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I've got a tip for the ladies. Or if you like I can put the whole thing

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Q: Why couldn' the muslim eat pork? A: Because he had been raped and killed by a giant scorpion.

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What is worst then a blond trying to pass collage?....... There is nothin wrong with that

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I like doodle. XoXo Jamie

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato!!

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A man buys cocaine from a shady dealer in an alley. He then goes home and experiments with it and other chemicals, and later on invents Coca Cola

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops