What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

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Why did the girl fall from the swing? She was laughing at an anti-joke.

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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what did the guy think who woke up with his hands and feet nailed to a barn. IS THIS BECAUSE IM BLACK!

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Why did the black cop pull the white guy over? He was going approximately 52 miles per hour on a 40 miles per hour speed limited road.

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Roses are red, But ravens are black, Please go to China, and never come back!

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whats worse than a repeated antijoke the people that complain about them

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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Where's the soap?

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Roses are red violets are blue your mother is pretty what happened to you.

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

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Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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