What has four legs but can't walk? A tranquilized bear

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Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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Why did the boy live on the street? He was an orphan.

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

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What do you call a computer running Windows DOS? Obselete

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Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

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Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

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Q:Why did Jimmy eat an apple? A:He was hungry.

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What's more fun then spinning a dead baby around on a clothesline at 50 miles an hour? Stopping it with a shovel.

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why couldnt jimmys feet touch the ground? he was hanging.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies on fire and a pile of living babies on fire? The dead babies are usually not as loud.

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knock knock , who is there the postman the postman who ? the postman who is gonna give you a bill !

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What did the plane say to the twin towers? Boom

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What do u call Lindsay Lohan fall from grace? Probably likely tragic and is also a very useful metaphor for The USA's projected path for global and economic superiority.

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What's worse than dropping an ice-cream cone? A dead baby. What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than two dead babies? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping two ice-cream cones.

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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What do you call a black doctor? Doctor.

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Why are bannanas bendy? Because unlike cucumbers bannas are not grown in a tube and are left to grow at their own pace.

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why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

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Why did the leaf fall off the tree? Because it was Fall.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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