What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

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Your mama's so fat, that when she opened the window, wind came in!!!

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A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

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A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Can I have a.........................beer?" The bartender asks, "Why the large pause?" The bear responds, "I have a speech impediment"

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Guess what? That is actually a ridiculously broad question, and I can be referring to anything. You really have no chance in guessing "what" is. As a matter of fact, I can just be thinking about a thought of something else, which is not even a concrete thing. Therefore, you really have no chance of guessing what "what" actually is. So I win. You lose.

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an athiest walks into a church

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

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What do you call a black man at school the janitor

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your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

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Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

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Why did the idiot take a selfie with his phone underwater? Because he's an idiot

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there square amphibious wood gum flag homos CC

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "Where's my tractor?"

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A pig walks into a bar and says, "Oink."

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why didn't Katie cross the road? Because she's dead.

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Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino. It just isn't relephant.

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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