Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

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VITAMIN C!

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

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Why was the man sad? His wife left

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What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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God wrote this joke.................................

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

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what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops