A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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A man walks into a bar, he now has a mild concussion

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Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

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A young baby died.

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Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

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What is yellow and bright? The sun.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: A sad, unfortunate dog.

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Why could'nt Susie talk? The mafia cut out her tounge

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reggin... its N I GG E R backwards

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A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

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Why did the stoner cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon..... so he can eat it.

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When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops