oh whatever Greece isn't going to leave the eurozone shut up about it already

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Why did the old man cry? Because he had just witnessed his wife die.

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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What did one planet say to the other? Nothing. Space is a vacuum in which sound cannot propagate due to the absence of a matter or particle medium.

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Where would it be hard to find handicapped parking? At the paralympics.

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If I had xray vision I'd go to a black jack table and when the dealer dealt everyone there cards I would look at the hot girls boobs

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Suzie has no arms. Knock Knock (whos there?) Not Suzie.

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If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

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whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To go to work. And be sexually harassed. For 70 cents on the dollar.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You steal his princess

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A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him.

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2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

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There's 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving. Probably one of the 2 men.

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Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam. To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" "No." "Good. Tobacco causes cancer."

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Why does Mario grown on shrooms? Because they bloom inside of him.

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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There are two kinds of people in this world: those that finish their sentences

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Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

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who else is on here?

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Why did the one friend hate the other friend? Because the one friend didnt do a map for social studies he should've done and skipped school for that class and when he came back, the other friend told the social studies teacher he was here and he had to turn in an unfinished poster and now he is a crybaby bitch about it.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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