Why did the donkey say "Shit sorry I had no idea" Because the batteries shouted: "Nobody told me about your actions here, sorry for the terrible coding format, I am new"

Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

How did the drug addict die? He got shot in a drive-by.

An American, a Mexican, and a Chinese person are in an airplane. The three of them ponder throwing someone out for a racist reason, but decide to fly to the destination.

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My heart skipped a beat, I'm dead.

Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

what did the homeless man get for christmas hyperthermia

what's worse than the holocaust? nothing.

What's worse than walking into your parents room while their have sex? Getting no-scoped by zzirgrizz

A duck walks into a bar and is immediately shot to prevent the spread of bird flu.

Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

What did the piece of macaroni say as they boy was about to eat him? Nothing. Foods are uneducated and illiterate therefore unable to speak, and went into the boy's mouth without a trouble.

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you ***ing racist.

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

Why did the cops beat up rodney king? Resisting arrest.

Why did Bob fall off a cliff? He had an epileptic episode.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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