Why was the baker rich? Because he had a lot of money

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

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Why was the man upset? His entire family was murdered, skinned, separated into assorted body parts, and stapled to trees.

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What is the difference between a tree and a person? Trees don't scream when hit with an axe.

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justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

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non poop

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Why did the gay man not walk straight? Because I took a jack hammer to his foot

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Q: What did Steve say to his teacher on the first day of school? A: "My name is Steve."

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picker her up and then they had sex.

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

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Q. You guys want to here a joke? Kids: Yeah! A. Women's rights

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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what is another way to say tree? A big stick with leaves

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how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

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Have a nice day! Dont tell me what to do.

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What's worse than finding out your husbands gay...........finding out he's gay with your brother"

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Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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you know its foggy outside when you step outside and its foggy outside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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