A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. I just bought a new xbox.

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Up High. *high fives* In The Middle *high fives* Down Low *high fives* In the Grass *high fives* You've been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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What the problem with writing an anti-joke? Trying to not come up with a punchline.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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- knock knock. - Who's There? - Steve. - Steve who? - Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah!

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Why did women scream loudly!? As the women was unexpectadly frightend!

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how many pieces of wood can a lumberjack cut in a minute? three dead squrlles a hat and and half of a tree oh and a bus. and if u get in his way alot of guts spewed every where

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God Does exist to all thoes atheist out there!!! All you have to have is faith. I corinthians 1:18 "for the message of the cross is foolishness to thoes who are perishing, but for thoes who are saved it is the power in christ Jesus!! <3

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Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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Q: Why did the man have sex with Amanda Seyfried? A: Are you kidding me?

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

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Why did the boy break his leg? Because he fell off a building

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

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What's the difference between Josef fritsal and a fridge? A fridge can be thrown at a bowl of custard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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