When life gives you lemon, Squeeze lemon juice in life's eyes Rape it And demand oranges

Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

a man walked into a bar.the bar was metal and he cracked his skull

Why was the man crying? He has aids.

Why did the Teacher cry? Because he was sad.

have you seen Helen Keller's bird house? neither has she

Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

A man goes to the doctor and complains: "Doctor, my Viagra hasn't worn off! It's been over eight hours!" The doctor replies "You were bitten by a banana spider. You have one day to live.

Why did the black guy wear a hat? To keep the sun out of his eyes

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

Women's Rights

Why did George shaw fall off the swin?. Because he got a bowl thrown at his head

What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

Why couldn't the convicted felonist get back to America? He was in Antarctica and accidentally licked a flagpole.

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

You're on a bus and the driver is black, you're white friend turns to you and says, We're gonna have a race on the highway!

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

Why was the man running? He needed to get somewhere fast.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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