A brunette child with a blond mother is crying. Why? Because his father was just mauled by a Scandinavian dragon.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

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Why did a little boy have a black eye? Because his father is very abusive to him and his sister. They are beaten every dad after the father comes home drunk from the bar because his wife also the kids mother died in a car acciedent 1 month before this. Child abuse is not funny and neither is a dead mother.

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Depends how you look at it, I like some girl, she and that girl gets along, I get along with the two girls, and yeah, I make them fight to the death as I consume the weakest one and make the new one my wife of darkness! Well, actually, threesomes, but NEVAH, NEVAR!! *shakes fist towards the skies* with another man! Now if my waifu wants to have some fun with a girl, I say why not (and then she asks if I want to join always so far), its genetics, you know, each caveman had like 600 wivus and he did not have time to bang them all, now let those genes go trough MAN for a couple of millenia, and he becomes the KING OF DEMONS... ME! Those other scumbags are a whole other story. Oh, and the 600 wivus did either go without sexytime, or you know... I mean you do KNOW that women are like comfortable naked together and yeah...

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Walnut

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A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

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Yes 59 10 away from my faverite number....... 49

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What is the different between going to church and reading a newspaper? You can take your shoes off when you read a newspaper.

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knock knock? whose there? i dont know. i dont know who? i dont know.

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken. How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower. What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection. What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender? Hold on. I'll tell you in a second. What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan. -S

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what does a baby sound like in a microwave. i don't know i was masturbating

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

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Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

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what is the difference between a black person and a little boy with autism .... the boy with autism is smarter with more education than the black person

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How did Jimmy get hit by the car? He dropped his Ice cream cone.

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What happened to the orphan when it walked to the park? He found his birth parents........but then they were killed by a crazy hobo and he was taken away and molested

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Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Is that really What I just said?

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What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

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What'd the black woman say when she met her husband's white mistress? Have you seen Jamal's socks?

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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