Two monkeys are lying in a tree. Big monkey and little monkey, little monkey bites the big monkey's tale, big monkey starts jumping around the place shouting. Little monkey just starts laughing and takes another sip of whiskey.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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What do you do to become a hairdresser? Set Off the fire alarm

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There is a famous joke, "What's black and white and re(a)d all over? A newspaper!" However, this is not featured on this website. Why? Because this is anti-joke.com, not joke.com - you moron

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If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its probably a turtle.

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You ask your friend if they want to hear a joke when they say yes tell them that thought you had a joke

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Why did Gary have severe learning difficulties? Because his mother drank a lot of alcohol while she was pregnant, and it harmed his development significantly.

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why did the bus hit the kid? he dropped his ice cream.

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vitamin c

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How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

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What's the difference between black and white people? One is black.

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Please save our environment :) Dont use electricity. Use gas! Like Hitler.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari ? I don't have a Ferrari in my basement.

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why did the black guy where orange shoes? Because he likes orange.

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Where did Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

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My girlfriend said she doesn't like anti jokes and now i'm single ha ha just kidding.... she's dead

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John: Hey Debbie, do you wanna go see a movie with me? Dina: My name is Dina

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How many people live in China? At least ten.

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Why did the girl go fishing? Because she was the bait

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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