How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

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Knock Knock. What's up? Oh, nothing much, you? Yeah, you know, same old, same old. Cool.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Roses are der Violets are eulb I am dyslexic

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You're American when you enter the the bathroom and you're American when you exit the bathroom. What are you while you're inside the bathroom? Using the bathroom.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he won't come.

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What did the autistic man say to the woman? I have autism

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Why did Timmy lose the race? He had no legs

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What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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What did the Scientist say after he created Frankenstein? - I just created Frankenstein.

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so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

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Maybe we simply need to keep the door open, but one cannot bring happiness to others, until one is happy oneself. Do I change something within you Red?

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Why couldnt the girl braid her hair? She had cancer

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is also blue

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A black guy wearing a mask runs into a store, points his gun at the cashier, steals some money and runs out. The police start an investigation the following morning

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What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You die.

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What's so great about twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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Q: What were little Jonathon's grandmas last words before dying of Alzheimer's? A: Who are you?

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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