Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's Black,White and red all over? A black person with a skin disease on her period.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What rhymes with float,boat,moat,coat and goat but can not be on a boat, can not float, can not be in a moat, can not be on a coat and can not ride a goat? A zoat because it's not a real word and therefore is incapable of doing any of those things.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

did u hear the one about helen keler neather did she

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Alice? Childhood Alice? I did not recognize you! Its so nice to hear from you again! I would not worry too much about Nero`s shouting at night dear friend, while he has overcome a lot, he suffers from nightmares and nightterrors, its not pain, not physical at least, please do not tell him I told you, he prefers sparing people the details. Should I type as If I am typing to Nero? Sorry, I am just a bit flustered, Nero has never been the romantic type, not towards me at least... I know the "official chatting hours are over, but can I ask you or rather him to stay on a bit longer?"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the horse insult the postage stamp? He didn't. Horses can not speak English nor can anything verbally or physically critique a postage stamp and make it feel any emotional distress.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

You wanna see something really scary?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than stepping on a nail? stepping on the nail and falling on more nails face first.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What would Chuck Norris do if you insulted him? Nothing. He probably doesn't have time for such foolishness.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Patriarchy.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: the WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black guy, a white guy, and an Asian guy walk into a library. They were getting help from the Asian guy on their math homework.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Guys, I think I'm gonna apply to join the Crips. My SAT score is a 2050, and their average score is a 2200. My GPA, however, is a 4.6, and their average is only a 4.2. Do you guys think that they will take me? Or should I try and apply for the Bloods?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

oh whatever donald trump's not going to be president. stop pretending he is

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you get when you don't wear protection? A baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: How do you win the tour defrance if you have one nut? A: Hard work and dedication.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why can't sally play on the swing? A: Because she has no arms Q: Who was the first to climb mount everest? A: Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you get if you cross a centipede with a millipede? I don't know but it sure has a lot of legs

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Im black and want attention. I also love fried chicken and love Africa call for a good, African-American time..... Im black 4025406623

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in the zoo don't be mad ill be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There's a cat, a dog, a rat and a goat... I don't know how the goat got in there?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops