A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

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Why was the boy crying? His parents were brutally burned to death in a fiery car accident.

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A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

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Q:What is usually pink, brown or black, usually big and comes out smaller, which goes in and out of your mothers mouth? A: Could be lots of things really... Moral: But we all know what you imagined you sick bastard!

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you get the shitty coconut ones.

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Yo mama so fat she at the rest of this joke.

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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why did the car crash? Because the driver was just a box of raisen Brand

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what do you call Mackenzie Phillips? five head

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Penis.

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A woman walks up to a man in a supermarket and asks him where she can find the potatos. He says "I think they are all the way at the end on aisle 3" "Thanks" she says. Then she gets to aisle 3, and there aint no potatos!!!!

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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If Chuck Norris was really so awesome he would come and slam my head into the keyboard.

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What do you call a man having sex with his own mother. - Gross.

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What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

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What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

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Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What do you call a man who tripped on a rock? A man who tripped on a rock.

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Whats Worse then finding a worm in your apple. Finding a real joke on anti-joke.com

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

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what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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What's the difference between a mac and a pc? Well haven't you seen the commercials.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what is this, some kind of joke?!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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