What is worst than your girlfriend's mother?? Osama Bin Laden's One

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hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

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How do you fit 100 dead babies into a box? Put them into a blender.

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Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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Wanna know what's funny? A joke.

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Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

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why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't he got ran over half way.

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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Q: How do you tell a Jewish person that you love them? A: You tell them "I love you".

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Rylan Clark

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Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

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You cant spell chorus with out... Vagina!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the shed I'm gonna screw you

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

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What do you call people in a plane crash? Whatever, i wasn't on the plane.

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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Colin is gay but toasters are not

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whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

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it was a black guy a white guy a chinese guy a french guy an arab guy an irish guy and a juncky that was too much for a joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops