Why didn't the blond cry at her child's funeral? She died, too. It was a terrible accident.

What did the homeless man say to bill gates? Nothing he was about to die.

what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Turns out a man suffering from schizophrenia believes he is a bartender for animals as his health slowly declines as his family comes to visit him every day.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

who killed more poeple than jeffory dommer, john wayne gayce, and ted buny combined cancer

A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

Michael Jackson walks into a daycare center.

One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

men, men like men= men+bed

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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